AZOTUSLAND chapter thirty six

Jim had always found that his children had settled him...grounded him. He tried to return the favor by giving them what he had never gotten. He celebrated their freedom and independent spirits. In return the two of them, separated by 14 years, both had matured at an excelerated rate and were far more grounded and secure than Jim would ever be.

To be fair, both of their mothers provided loving structure that was miles away from Azotus in all ways, yet respectful.

When Sabine arrived with Matisse the next morning she had packed a lunch for them both and Matisse had her art box.

Jim was touched.

"You don't sound well," she said.

"I'm not so very good," he whispered in her ear as he hugged her.

She looked at him hard. "Matty, go on down to the Batcave for a minute, okay?"

"You smell a bit like cider Jim."

"Yep. No excuses. But just one."

She knew he was not a liar.

"That's it Jim?"

"Yeah," he said. "I just want some quiet time with Matty."

"What's eating you?' she asked.

"Everything right now," he said. "Remember when that would happen?"

She rolled her eyes and then laughed and smiled. "Oh Jim, you are such a puzzle. So sweet with everyone else and so contemptuous of me," she said slyly and he laughed hard.

"Well take good care of her. I have my cell and I'll be up the hill till 6 p.m. then down to collect her."

"Care to stay for dinner?" Jim asked. "I have a stew on all day...you know how good that is."

"That would be nice, sure."

*******

Jim drove he and Matisse over the Golden Gate with the top down even though it was still foggy.

Matisse was so happy and so "herself" that it amazed Jim. Was he just a freak, or was Matisse?

They drove down 19th and through the tunnel and spilled into Golden Gate Park before finding a place near the new DeYoung. Jim put up the top and set the alarm and they skipped off hand in hand past the Japanese Tea Garden.

Inside they went straight for the Van Goghs. Matisse loved Van Gogh, and of course, Matisse. Anything vibrant and interpretive. She was not a big fan of Rubens like her father and she crinkled up her nose and said he was "boring". Jim led her over to a rare Munch and she looked at it for awhile and said, "troubled and alone."

They had tea in the cafe there and bought some small prints for her bedroom and then headed off to the tea garden next door.

But then Jim had another idea because it was so cold. He loved the tea garden and had written one of his most regarded poems there about Ian when he was just 5. But today was just not the right day.

"Pumpkin?"

"Yes Papi!" she said in an exagerrated way.

"Let's go to the park near home okay?"

"Okay."

********

Cara had been cornered by Ted for the second time in three days, but she was prepared this time.

"Ted, your whole mode of being makes faith irrelevant," she said not unkindly. "Dear you need to let God love you and stop trying to earn it."

"You don't understand!" Ted fumed, till he caught a glance from Roo. "Er, we are saved, justified by faith and faith alone" he pronounced.

"Good," said a contented Cara. "How's your scone?"

"My scone?" He shook his head.

"Bad theology leads to bad conduct," he said triumphant.

"Bad conduct leads to grace," she said.

"Says who?"

"The Apostle Paul in his letter to the Romans," she said calmly. "And the Romans could have used some better theology, and so could you."

Martine had taken in some of the conversation from a distance. She liked Cara a lot. There was something organic and very real about her. And she was the only person Martine had ever met who when she said "Have a good day" she actually seemed to be mindful and mean it. She was a breath of grace.