AZOTUSLAND Chapter Ninety-One

Jim lead Ted down to Silo 2 and Ted went "Whoa" when they walked in and he saw the large library.

"Go ahead," Jim said quietly, "Take your time and look."

Ted walked down the bookcases taking it all in. He knew some of the titles and was shocked that Jim owned them. He picked ou a copy of William Law's A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life and opened it toward the back. Most of the pages had yellow highlighting and detailed notes in the margins. He picked up another one, a book by John Meyendorff called Christ in Eastern Christian Thought, It too had the same distinct notations and were quite detailed. It had long arguments about issues like "hypostatis" and the implications of Incarnation on Soteriology. To Ted it looked fascinating but he wondered about Jim even more.

Finally he came over and sat next to Jim who offered him a glass of wine. It was 3 p.m. but Ted wanted to relax and was anxious to hear what Jim thought of his presentation. Just then Manfred came down with a large plate of spicy chicken wings and various dressings.

"Well, thank you Manfred," Jim said looking up in surprise. "Would you like to join us?"

"No Sahib, I was just wondering what Mister Ted's was lookings for and thought he might be hungries."

Ted smirked a bit but thanked Manfred who then left.

"So Jim is this what people are looking for? Chicken wings?"

"Some of them are," Jim said "But let's talk first about your presentation this morning."

Ted was nervous in his seat. Six months earlier he wouldn't have given a damn what Jim thought on anything. But time and experience at Azotus had changed him.

"I was a bit stunned by it Ted," Jim started and Ted recoiled a bit steadying himself for the stream of accusations or criticisms that the older man might render. "And I was quite frankly deeply moved by it."

"Ted, one of the key things is it made me think and really look at my own life," Jim added. "I suppose that was your intention?"

"Yes, it was. But it did the same to me first." Then Ted told Jim what he had learned from Tanka, and also about his experiences out at Bolinas and how he had opened up his soul to God on a deeper and more vulnerable level and started to listen more and he had just heard that message in a personal way for him.

As they talked, with Jim mostly listening, they ate the chicken wings, deeping them in the ranch and BBQ sauce and having some wine together and at times laughing (Jim went "Whoa!" when told about the boat incident), and at other Jim would hunker down and listen intently to the man without comment.

"So you just wrote it down on one sheet of paper?" Jim asked.

"Yes," Ted said. "It just came in a flash of clarity."

"That was gutsy Ted," Jim said seriously. "And then doing it without notes even more so."

"Thanks Jim," Ted said. "But let me ask you Jim, as I was preparing and asking myself that question I also was curious about you. You seem to be scattered all over the place and sort of looking for everything at all at once and I wonder about your own personal faith as you have wondered about mine from time to time."

Jim sat back in his big cahir and looked almost glum. Then he spoke, "This is confidential, just between you and I correct?"

"Yes, it is Jim. I promise."

"Well then I would say your assessment is accurate. In fact I have learned quite a bit from you today and I spent some time alone after your presenatation thinking along some similar lines but I had not seen what you just said. So I thank you for that."

Ted relaxed in his chair and had another short sip of wine. Months earlier such an admission would have made Ted giddy. It did not today.

"What specifically?" Ted asked.

"My you have a quick mind," Jim said. "Er, um...well that I can be scattered and, well, the core of your question is what am I really looking for. I mean you were talking about a core passion right?"

"Yes, I think so. You could put it that way."

"Or maybe core passions?" asked Jim.

"No, I was looking for the passion behind all passions, the others being reflections...at least that's what it felt like and feels like."

"Ahhh," Jim muttered. Ideas where crackling and rippling through Jim's mind but he found they were for other people.

"I don't know Ted," Jim said finally. "Maybe that's why the question affected me so. I don't know what I am looking for but there is no denying that I am."

They sat there silent and Jim sighed. "But I sure will let your question linger and we'll see."

"Now can I ask you some questions?" Jim smiled.

"Sure, it's a free country," Ted answered.

"Use to be," Jim countered and Ted rolled his eyes.

"Okay, okay...how did it feel when you were doing it?"

"Well, at first I had a hard time getting past myself, but then I started seeing the faces of the people and it just kinda took over...I guess God took over because I was both doing it but it was beyond me."

"Yes, that makes sense. I have had that happen."

"Really? When Jim and why do you have so many theology books down here and why are they down here and wh..."

"Hold on cowboy," Jim said. "All in due time."

Ted sat back in his chair.

"All in due time. But in the meanwhile Ted, you are welcome to use or borrow any book down here and if we can come to agreement on "Spoke" then I'd actually like to setup an office area for you down here."

Ted could not help but look around the larfe room and wonder what that would be like.

**********

Hart finished his espresso and finsihed explaining, with a straight face, the intricacies of his multi-million dollar business and how he might be very interested in investing in hers. He paid the check and asked what she would enjoy doing next. She gave a slight yawn and said "I am tiring perhaps I should go to bed."

Hart knew it was a ruse as she had reverse jet-lag and it was only 7 p.m. PST. He played along. and walked her to the center rotunta of the Ritz-Carlton and kissed her hand and said "Well it was a wonderful evening and I'd like to see you again."

"Do you have to go right away?" she purred in close.

"Well, you are tired. I understand. You should get some rest."

"Well why don't you come up and tuck me in," she said.

Hart thought that he suddenly hated Maugham but then recomposed himself.

"Okay, I'd like that Candice." They started to walk towards the elevators and then he stopped. "Oh! I forgot...wow...I'm sorry...but I brought you a gift and left it in the car."

"It doesn't matter," she said, "let's go."

He smiled at her the most sincere (yet unsincere) smile of his like and said "No, no...it's special...I ordered it special. But I'll be right up."

She slipped her hand into her large black purse and pulled out an enevlope that had an extra red key card and gave it to him. "Then I will see you in a few."

"Yes," he said. Then he kissed her deliberately on the cheek (as Maugham had requested), smiled and walked out toward the parking lot.