AZOTUSLAND Chapter Ninety-Three
Maugham cursed himself in the parking lot and hailed a cab back to the hotel. In the bar he found Hart looking well but he felt like shit.
"You look like shit," Hart said.
"I feel like it," Maugham said with some sadness.
"What happened?"
"Well message delivered, but it was ugly and I feel dirty," Maugham said.
Maugham ordered a Rob Roy and slugged it down.
"Never known you to drink," Hart said.
"I generally don't. But tonight I'll make an exception. Let's go back to your place. I don't wanna be alone tonight if you don't mind."
"Alright Maug. No problem."
On the way back to Hart's place they stopped at a nearby lake and he tossed her gun deep into it. Then told Hart what had happened in brief overview without specifics.
"You're too hard on yourself," Hart said. "I saw the merciless animal in her eyes...she would have killed you, or your friend Jim...and you know she killed Jacob."
"Doesn't matter. I have never treated a woman that way before and I feel fucking sick."
They went back to Hart's place and he poured Maugham a scotch neat and he knocked it back and then went in a turned on the shower very hot and got in and cried slumped his long body in the bottom of the tray.
Maugham's mother had been abused both emotionally and sexually by an alcoholic step-father. Maugham had been too young to defend her and she died when he was twelve of throat cancer. From there Maugham had been in foster homes for a long while until he ran away to Sacramento from the Bay Area and started working in a restuarant long hours and was befriended by one of the managers who had an extra room. Maugham also began to grow in stature through his late teens and hit the weight room where he grew into a man. But he always felt chivalrous towards women and despised the cruel usury of men. That was one reason he trusted Jim so much.
As the hot water and steam came down around him he held is face in his hands and asked God for mercy if God existed. His prior childhood had precluded God because he never rescued his mother. But God wafted around the edges of Azotus and Maugham knew it.
When he finally got out he felt tired and depressed. He dressed and went back into the kitchen where Hart had laid out another drink for him.
"You wanna call them?" Hart asked.
"No," Maugham said. "But I suppose I must."
It was only 9:30 PST when Maugham called Jim and told him it was over.
"Did it go as planned?" Jim asked.
"No," Maugham said. "Does it ever? But she won't be heard from again. Pretty sure."
"You wanna talk with Martine? She's right here." asked Jim.
"Sure."
"Maugham how are you? I was worried?"
"I'm okay but also not so okay," he said.
"What does that mean?"
"It means I love you," he sighed deeply, "and I am raw and a bit ruined from tonight. I did okay, but I'm not well after it. I need you to trust me. I will tell you everything when I get home...but I am not well," he said.
"Are you hurt?"
"TYou mean do I have bullet holes? No."
"Okay honey. I understand. Maybe we could go to the coast for a few days and just have some down time?"
"Yes, that would be good. I love you."
"I love you too."
And they rang off.
"You look like shit," Hart said.
"I feel like it," Maugham said with some sadness.
"What happened?"
"Well message delivered, but it was ugly and I feel dirty," Maugham said.
Maugham ordered a Rob Roy and slugged it down.
"Never known you to drink," Hart said.
"I generally don't. But tonight I'll make an exception. Let's go back to your place. I don't wanna be alone tonight if you don't mind."
"Alright Maug. No problem."
On the way back to Hart's place they stopped at a nearby lake and he tossed her gun deep into it. Then told Hart what had happened in brief overview without specifics.
"You're too hard on yourself," Hart said. "I saw the merciless animal in her eyes...she would have killed you, or your friend Jim...and you know she killed Jacob."
"Doesn't matter. I have never treated a woman that way before and I feel fucking sick."
They went back to Hart's place and he poured Maugham a scotch neat and he knocked it back and then went in a turned on the shower very hot and got in and cried slumped his long body in the bottom of the tray.
Maugham's mother had been abused both emotionally and sexually by an alcoholic step-father. Maugham had been too young to defend her and she died when he was twelve of throat cancer. From there Maugham had been in foster homes for a long while until he ran away to Sacramento from the Bay Area and started working in a restuarant long hours and was befriended by one of the managers who had an extra room. Maugham also began to grow in stature through his late teens and hit the weight room where he grew into a man. But he always felt chivalrous towards women and despised the cruel usury of men. That was one reason he trusted Jim so much.
As the hot water and steam came down around him he held is face in his hands and asked God for mercy if God existed. His prior childhood had precluded God because he never rescued his mother. But God wafted around the edges of Azotus and Maugham knew it.
When he finally got out he felt tired and depressed. He dressed and went back into the kitchen where Hart had laid out another drink for him.
"You wanna call them?" Hart asked.
"No," Maugham said. "But I suppose I must."
It was only 9:30 PST when Maugham called Jim and told him it was over.
"Did it go as planned?" Jim asked.
"No," Maugham said. "Does it ever? But she won't be heard from again. Pretty sure."
"You wanna talk with Martine? She's right here." asked Jim.
"Sure."
"Maugham how are you? I was worried?"
"I'm okay but also not so okay," he said.
"What does that mean?"
"It means I love you," he sighed deeply, "and I am raw and a bit ruined from tonight. I did okay, but I'm not well after it. I need you to trust me. I will tell you everything when I get home...but I am not well," he said.
"Are you hurt?"
"TYou mean do I have bullet holes? No."
"Okay honey. I understand. Maybe we could go to the coast for a few days and just have some down time?"
"Yes, that would be good. I love you."
"I love you too."
And they rang off.
posted by Obi-Mac BakDon | 4:27 PM
5 Comments:
Wow, couple of intense chapters. I wasn't expecting it!
I hope Maugham can come to grips and see his remorse is a good thing in that he always desires to take the hire ground.
Whew, intense for you too! You did a great job! The 'obvious' isn't always the better way. A price is paid and it weighs heavily.
great imagination friend! these last chapters have delivered well!
one thing though (you asked me to be honest) i'm not sure that giving maug's entire history in one short paragraph and all toward the end of a long book like this is the most effective way of "introducing a character and what makes him tick" . . .
but all of this is still very good! i am on the edge of my seat to find out how all of it resolves . . . is there more?
Tabitha has a good point.
But, i don't see anywhere else in the book the short history of Maugham required.
There was a very disturbing event that occured and it seems Maugham had a flash back of his past due to the event that happened.
Perhaps we didn't need to know how he grew up as much as knowing what Maugham witnessed with his mom and step dad and he is angry with himself for bringing himself down to that level.
It is an interesting turn, we have been watching ever so confident Maugham working it out.
He was finely challenged and he is the one evalutating how he met the challenge.
ok, this is stupid, but it is annoying me.
Maugham took the 'higher' ground Not 'hire' ground.
Since i been blogging i can't spell anymore.
Whatevah!
Currently at 81,000 words and almost done.
Wow 81,000 words!!! Nice going!
ALMOST DONE!! I am going out to buy champagne now!
Thanks SO much sharing it with us!
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